What not to do with an online dating profile

So e-harmony didn't live up to my expectations. Whatevs online dating, whatevs. While my online dating experience may have only been 30 days long, I feel like I saw enough profiles to give some pointers to those out there looking for more than online booty call. While this list is more geared towards men, ladies I am sure you can gain some valuable insight as well.

1. Bathroom pics are always and I mean ALWAYS a no. The only thing that will get you is a closed match.
2. I understand that there is the option to "send a smile." But when a girl receives the notification that herr profile made him smile...leaning towards creeper status, but hey, maybe that's just Milly and I.
3. I get the use of OMG, LOL, and such. I have been known to use such abbreviations in text messages  or on facebook myself, but please refrain from using any such three letters in your initial profile (thus your first impression). Trust me, it will create the same response as number 1.
4. Posing with no shirt is just as bad as the bathroom shot.

5. Proofread. I don't think further explanation is necessary.

6. A picture of a vehicle should not be included in your profile either (especially one in a showroom). Unless you are a Transformer, then awesome, please include a photo.

As a special bonus, here are some phrases I would suggest avoiding:

"The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: Like a best friend"
"I'm a lazy workaholic." I don't even know what to say to that.

Internet, tell me there are other men out there for my friends to date. Please!

Getting a little worried,

Cora

The final recap

Dear E-harmony,

 

I want my money back.

 

Sincerely,

Cora

The Awkward Moment When...#2

#2 You say happy birthday to the awkward guy at work and then he immediately proceeds to ask you out. All I said was Happy Birthday buddy.

Awkward moments to share? We would love to hear them and maybe even feature them on the blog! Email us at cora.cae@gmail.com with your stories!

Yours Truly,

Cora

E-Harmony Recap - Week 3

Monitoring Milly's e-harmony account has reminded me that there are some interesting characters in the world. Not that I am the most popular kid in town, but some of these profiles have me scratching my head and wondering what these people were thinking when they posted the pictures that they did and/or what they wrote out. Why folks?? Why would you post that? One might never know.

There isn't really much to recap this week, because there really isn't much to say. I don't know friends, I guess e-harmony works out different for everyone. But if I am being honest, this is not really meeting my expectations. This makes me sad because I pretty much planned out Milly's love story - I kid, I kid, but I was hoping for a little more!

And this leads me to an update about good ol Spartacus. I went ahead and closed that match. From his responses to the questions I sent over, it became clear that Milly and Spartacus viewed certain things rather differently.

People have said that e-harmony takes time. I get that. I promise I do, but if you aren't giving me anything, it doesn't make me want to continue trying. What do y'all think??

Here's to hoping that Milly may yet find love...
Cora

E-Harmony Recap - Week 2

Well, I'm glad that this week you were all able to meet Bitter Betty, aka Milly. Yes, she can be a bit dramatic (please refer to the possible outcomes she came up with about this e-harmony gig), but I am just trying to help a sister out! Mmhmm, she thinks I am crazy and all I am trying to do is find her love. You're welcome Milly, you're welcome. On that note, let's get onto the week 2 recap!

Things with Spartacus are giving me hope that Milly might get at least a date out of this. For those not familiar with the ways of e-harmony, I shall fill you in. They have ice breakers, questions you can send or the option to jump into email. We're on the level of switching random questions back and forth and so far he is passing the tests. From his responses and questions, he seems funny, intellegent and someone who, if anything, could be a friend. This is good news. I just sent over some more questions, some on deeper level, so we shall see!

As far as other matches....y'all, I just don't get it. What some people choose to put on the internet! I think more about that deserves its own post, so be sure to be on the look out.

Signing off as the best friend a single girl can ask for,
Cora!

Name is Nelly. Negative Nelly.

Hey folks, Milly here.

Let me just begin with this…I do appreciate the sentiment by which Cora began this conquest of internet dating. Although, I still do NOT appreciate being on it.

The previous statements from Cora are true:

-Cora maintains all the communication.

-I do not participate at all.

-And Spartacus is a serial killer.

Okay, so she didn’t quite say the last statement. I read between the lines.

So by the end of the month I will be one of the following:

-On my merry way to wedded bliss.

-Unsurprisingly still single.

-Chopped into 27 symmetrical pieces, stashed in a cooler at the bottom of the Red Sea while some guy holds my picture as he smells a lock of my hair.

Here’s to hoping it’s the 3^rd option!

I kid, folks, I kid. I am just glad I can remove myself completely in all this and just continue doing my job of finding something inexcusably wrong in all the options Cora presents to me. I mean, why quit something you’re good at, right? J

Milly signing off…

The Awkward Moment When...

According to good ol Merriam-Webster, awkward is defined as a : lacking social grace and assurance and wow are there plenty of those in the dating world. We thought it would be funny to share these along the way. We promise these have actually happened (if not to us, then to people we know). Just when you think you have seen or heard it all!

#1 You are on a blind date and the guy talks about the time he gave his teeth away as a Christmas gift. He also mentions it was one of his favorite gifts to give.

Awkward moments to share? We would love to hear them and maybe even feature them on the blog! Email us at cora.cae@gmail.com with your stories!

Yours Truly,

Cora

E-Harmony Update - Week 1 Recap

So begins Millie's journey to finding love! She isn't quite as excited as I am, but trust me, this is gonna be good! I'll post the updates each week and maybe, just maybe after 30 days love will have arrived!

Here's one thing you need to know about e-harmony. That initial survey takes approximately 36 years to complete. They are not messing around when it comes to compatibility. I took me even longer because I had to think as Millie would think and when I asked what she would prefer on a couple different questions, she refused to be of any use. I have never met someone so resistant to finding love. :) The only time she commented was when I said I was going to put her attractive level on the highest level (which I can say in all honesty is true), she told me absolutely not. Yep, that's the one thing she felt strongly about.

Anyway, after that was completed the emails/matches started coming in. Let me tell you - I was excited! But (sorry e-harmony.com I have to be honest) I was quickly let down. Out of 20 something initial matches, there was one, that's right one likely match. I did feel bad closing matches based solely on looks, but hey, if we're all honest, I'm not the only one who does that. So let's see where it goes with Spartacus.* He's a good looking guy, older and seems to have it together.

*Names have been changed to protect the people in this story. Because this is obviously top secret type stuff.

That's what friends (and e-harmony) are for

The following is based on actual events.

Once upon a time there were two young women, Millie and Cora. Cora thought Millie was awesome and was really confused as to why some dashing young prince hadn't swept her off her feet yet. Millie wasn't one of those secretly crazy or insane kinda gals, but geniune, sweet and true. So one day Cora found a great guy for Millie to connect with. For reasons unknown, Millie refused. This upset Cora, because a) her plan was brilliant and b) the logic behind Millie's negativity was ridiculous. So to make sure Millie went along with her plan, Cora offered Millie a win-win situation. Option 1: Go along with Cora's original plan and get a gift card to her favorite store. Option 2? Cora would pay and create a profile for Millie on e-harmony. In Cora's mind this was a no-brainer. Get a gift card and do one simple task. But to Cora's amazment, Millie refused option 1, so Cora was left with no choice but to commence Option 2.

Thus we begin our journey into the world of e-harmony. For one whole month, I will daily work on finding the perfect match for my friend. And yes, I am "acting" as Millie the whole time, but we're best friends, so I know her quite well. If I do find a match, then that's when Millie can take over. So here's to trying something that we never said we would!!

So it Begins

What can we say?? Being in your early 30's, single, and female brings it's challenges in the dating world. And by "challenges" we mean a lot of laughter, awkwardness, and "WTH was that?" moments. What all these challenges have taught us, though, in our 3 decades of life, is that, a. we are still awesome, b. God has a sense of humor, and c. that even though we didn't get our 18-year-old-dreams of being married at 21, starting our family of 2.5 children and 2 dogs at 23, and living the rest of our lives as stay-at-home moms at 25, we wouldn't have it ANY other way.

Another realization throughout all this: we know we are not alone. There are a plethora of you fine folks out there who are experiencing or have experienced similar phases of life. We invite you to join in on this journey with us if not for anything else, to share a giggle or two.

So this is the beginning of an adventure....or I should say, a continuation of an adventure. Here we will collaborate experiences from the past, document stories that are unfolding as we speak, and any other fun tales or thoughts that develop throughout this "adventure."